That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
