Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
