There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
