In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
