OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
