so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
