Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All the doctor said was why
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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