I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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