is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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