I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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