i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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