there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
