You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
