Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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(440): View more from Ohio

he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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(254): View more from Texas

You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

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(540): View more from Virginia

we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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(703): View more from Virginia

There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.

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(587): View more from Alberta

The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am

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(224): View more from Illinois

only 4 hours until nug lovin time

(616): View more from Michigan

excuse me?

(224): View more from Illinois

nug lovin. lovin nugs.

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