Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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