i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
