never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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