I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
