it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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