how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
