I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
