and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
