He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
