I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i think i have herpe
just one?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
