I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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