Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
