I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
