All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
