I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
