Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
