Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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