yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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