As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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