I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
