it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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