better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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