She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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