Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
