is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize