He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
