I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
