there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
