porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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