Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
