I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
