So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
