She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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