And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
