Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
