Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
