Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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