So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
