You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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