I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
