Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
