Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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