Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
