I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
