So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
