Having a random hookup so left but love u
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
