I need help removing her.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
