Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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