Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
