just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
