I want to have your abortion
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
