You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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