Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
