i need an iv and a liver transplant
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
