As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
