A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
