She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
